The Art of Strategic Preeminence

You are sitting across from a mother in tears who is trying to sell her house.  She tells you that her son has a drug addiction and they are completely broke because of it.  She has decided to put him into state funded rehab and then go live with her mother.  She doesn’t want the house anymore, she doesn’t want the debt or even the memories.  She just wants a new start.

You have two choices.

One, you follow the step-by-step instructions from your real estate course that shows how to take over the payments.  You present the agreements to her and explain that you will be leasing with the option to buy and possibly sub-leasing the property for a profit.  She glares over the agreements you’re showing her as if her mind is somewhere else.  She half-listens to you as you hand her the pen to sign, but there’s hesitation.  She isn’t sure because “there’s so much going on now in my life” she says.  I’m sorry she says, but I need some time to think about this.  You then part ways uncertain of the outcome.

Or.

Two, you tell her that you can’t imagine the pain she’s going through because you’ve never experienced it for yourself.  You also tell her that you fully understand what her needs are and that you’re there to help make what you can happen.  Then, you tell her that because of her situation with her son, you can help, but you’ll need HER HELP so together you can make the house/terms attractive to an end buyer or tenant. And finally, you sympathetically tell her that she’s been through enough and you’ll do all of the work if the two of you can come to an agreement that can benefit both of you.

The key here is not making it about you.  That, my friend, never works.

This is the difference between good negotiating by using what you’re naturally given, (The ability to emotionally relate) or trying to set up a deal with nothing more than logic in the form of someone else’s materials and/or experiences.  Did the guy/gal who wrote the course ever meet this lady?  No.  Did they ever have a deal similar to this?  Of course.  But the point is that it’s about people, not just numbers and how to set up a deal and you, are always a part of that equation.  This is what no instructor, teacher or guru can ever teach you, it’s something you learn and develop as you go.

This is the first of the 5 Success Variables in Tessera.  It’s a lesson on how we perceive and absorb the message.  It’s the difference between an abstract or concrete way of conveying information emotionally and not just logically.  Our emotions are always in control, not our logic.  And the sooner we all realize that, the sooner our world opens up to incredible opportunity.